Hero of the Week: Fan Bravely Writes Negative Comments About Star Wars Trailer // Satire
Star Wars Celebration 2019 has come and gone, and with it, the exciting reveal and first trailer for Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. For most Star Wars fans, this is a joyous occasion uniting the subculture together in enthusiasm for the next installment of the Saga and reflecting how far the franchise has come since its first installment in 1977. But Darren Darrenson is not most fans.
A lifelong devotee of the series and self-proclaimed "Uber-Gray Jedi," Darrenson has had serious misgivings with the state of the multimedia franchise. Taking to Twitter, Darrenson let his opinions known on the live stream for the Episode IX panel.
"The Disney films are a disgrace that has killed my enthusiasm for Star Wars. Solo is the greatest cinematic mistake since The Last Jedi, which I also called the greatest cinematic mistake," explained Darrenson. "Disney and Lucasfilm cannot get away with the damage they've done to my love of Star Wars. I logged on and saw so many comments of people saying how excited they were for this movie, and how much they love the Disney movies. I was disgusted and needed to act."
During the Star Wars 2019 Celebration live stream broadcasting the panel and trailer for the film, Darrenson posted several profanity-filled rants about how awful the franchise has become. With the username "RianSuxJohnson42069," Darrenson launched insult after insult directed toward Disney, the cast, director Rian Johnson, and Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy. Eventually, Darrenson's barrage of negativity began to annoy other viewers of the stream, which is when his insults started to get directed toward his fellow fans.
"How dare they defend a movie they love when it makes me upset! And somehow I'm the bad guy? All for telling them their tastes are bad, and they should feel like trash for liking the movies they enjoy. Can't they see how I'm the victim?"
But it's not only his fellow fans that have adversely affected him, with Darrenson insisting the damage done to his person by the Disney produced Star Wars films is incalculable.
"It's not just the movies themselves either, Disney's decisions with the Star Wars series has ruined my life. Friendships have ended, I've lost contact with relatives, and my coworkers avoid me. Everyone I know is tired of me going on about how much I don't care about Star Wars, and it's all Disney's fault! If they didn't make movies that ruined my interest in Star Wars, I wouldn't have to tell everyone about how much I don't care about Star Wars."
You Don't Read Comics commend Darren Darrenson for his bravery, and hope his fragile emotions can withstand the release of Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker on December 20th, 2019.
*This article is satirical and intended for humor purposes only. The events of its contents, while based on reality, are in no way meant to inspire anything other than the entertainment of our readers.