Tragedy! Man Finds Wife Has Moved On After Five Years // Satire
Billions around the world found themselves returned to life thanks to a daring plan by the Avengers. With life slowly returning to normal and picking up the shattered pieces of our world, none seem to have suffered more than one Gregory Saunders.
A local to the Boston area, Mr. Saunders was many of the hundreds of thousands lost during The Event. Having traveled to Fenway Park for a Red Sox vs Yankees game in 2018, Gregory had been stunned to watch about half of the entire stadium dissolve into ashes as so many around the world had done that day. When Gregory Saunders was returned, he found himself standing in the remains of Fenway alongside so many others of the Returned.
“More of those Yankee bastards were dusted vs the Sox,” Saunders explained at a recent group therapy session, “By my counting, we won the game.”
“Honestly,” Greg went on, “I could handle the rubble and the decay. I grew up in Jersey City. However, when I came home, nothing could prepare me for what I saw.”
Greg’s wife, Emily had moved on.
“She was with Bob now,” Greg shrugged, looking down at his coffee, “I mean, I wouldn’t have minded so much if the Avengers hadn’t brought me back to life. My wife moved on, my job replaced me and then went out of business, my dog died, my clothes hadn’t been washed in five years… thanks a lot, Avengers.”
The Avengers have declined to comment at this time.
*This article is satirical and intended for humor purposes only. The events of its contents, while based on reality, are in no way meant to inspire anything other than the entertainment of our readers.