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X-Men #22

As Orchis makes their moves, the X-Men meet the Initiative’s newest weapons in X-Men #22, by writer Gerry Duggan, artist Joshua Cassara, colorist Marte Gracia, and letterer Clayton Cowles. Another month, another terribly written but beautifully drawn issue of X-Men.

Omega Sentinel meets with Opal, a member of Hordeculture. Opal gives Karima the group’s research on Krakoan portals while Omega Sentinel warns her that Krakoan medicine has been modified by the mutants, and she might want to go organic. Of course, this was actually done by Orchis, and readers are “treated” to that, as Nimrod, Doctor Stasis, and MODOK test the medicine they modified, which allows them to control a human’s fight or flight response with a special soundwave. Orchis also opened up mutant cure tents, and a reptilian mutant goes to one. He gets cold feet and is saved by Cyclops, Forge, and Firestar. However, a new Sentinel attacks them, one built on a used Wolverine skeleton. Firestar defeats it. Back at the Treehouse, Forge asks Cyclops how many times Wolverine has died, and they didn’t get his skeleton. At Orchis, the ape scientists reveal they have made ten of them.

It’s so hard to know where to begin with a Duggan-written X-Men, especially this issue. Right from the beginning, there’s something terrible about this comic. Hordeculture was charming before, but there’s no charm here. Omega Sentinel acting like a lame villain and not her machine self is terrible. From there, Duggan goes to Nimrod, Stasis, and MODOK in an Orchis Fantasticar, and it’s also terrible. Orchis messing with Krakoan medicine is a good idea, but using it like this is shit. Which perfectly describes Duggan’s writing style on X-Men.

Then there’s the Orchis cure tent, and this scene also doesn’t work. Duggan doesn’t do a good job of building any tension here, and even the reveal of the X-Sentinel - a Sentinel built around Wolverine’s skeleton - isn’t great. This is yet another example of Duggan doing something “cool,” but it totally falls short. Orchis went from an awesome sci-fi threat to a lame one. This is the extent of Duggan’s imagination, and it’s why anyone with a lick of sense hates this book and misses Hickman.

Cassara and Gracia spin gold from dross. Duggan is terrible at many things as a comic writer, but he knows how to write for artists. Cassara and Gracia take this script and at least make the pictures look nice. The art is basically the only good thing about this book, but that’s pretty standard with X-Men.

X-Men #22 is terrible. Duggan is taking Orchis and making them lame. That’s the whole thing about this book. Orchis’s schemes aren’t scary; they’re petty. Under Hickman, Orchis was powerful and unstoppable. Now, they’re cliche. The art is fantastic, but the script is so bad it’s not funny.

GRADE: D-