Shocker! Marvel to replace Samuel L. Jackson with Another Man Named Chris! // Satire
With Spider-Man: Far From Home only a month away, secrets are finally beginning to come to light on the movie’s newest twists. One that thrilled fans was the idea that Mysterio comes from an alternate universe, opening the concept of a Marvel Multiverse to the MCU. The latest revelation happens to come from a mishap of an interview with star Tom Holland, who may have revealed that Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury may be lost to that alternate world, replaced by that world’s counterpart.
“It’s wild,” Tom Holland commented during a moment of publicity where he surprised fans by dressing up as Disneyland’s Spider-Man, “At the end of the movie, Mr. Jackson tackles the villain of the movie, and they both go falling into a dimensional tear. I shoot my webs inside, but pull out a different Nick Fury!”
Tom could not be reached for comment at the time, as Disney Staff tackled Holland on the spot and taped his mouth shut before carrying him backstage. This leak has caused all sorts of rumors to fly, but YDRC was able to speak with the Russo’s directly on this matter. In an interview with the Russos, we were able to find out the nature of this Nick Fury:
Anthony Russo: Well, we had to make a hard decision. Samuel L Jackson plays a wonderful Nick Fury, but we wanted to further make a clean break between the first 10 years of Marvel and the next 10.
Joe Russo: Right. Aside from Robert Downey Junior, Samuel L Jackson has been in the most Marvel movies as Nick Fury. We wanted a fresh face. Something just rang with making it a new actor with a new Fury.
Anthony Russo: We’re still thinking on the actor, to be honest. We filmed the scene with Holland mentioned with an actor with a green screen face wrap.
Joe: Right, right. I was taking with Chris Pine last week about the role. He’s interested and fits the role for a leading male we’ve often looked for.
Anthony: Tall, handsome, blonde, and named Chris. We have a type, it seems.
Joe: Not that it’s anything to be ashamed of. Chris Rock was interested but balked at the idea of shaving his head. Same with Chris Tucker.
Anthony: I almost had Christopher Walken in the role last week, but he just had such a bad experience with [Tim Burton’s] Batman [Returns] that he was done with heroes.
Joe: We almost have a man chosen, though. Then it’s up to our CGI miracle men to slap their face on the post-credits sequence and we’re golden.
When asked about the July 2nd release date, the Russos threw down a smoke bomb and vanished, presumably to finish their movie. Meanwhile, Marvel has declined to comment at this time, but we at YDRC will relay the up-to-the-minute information for you as soon as it becomes available.
*This article is satirical and intended for humor purposes only. The events of its contents, while based on reality, are in no way meant to inspire anything other than the entertainment of our readers.
**Unless this prediction is right. Then we totally called it.